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 June 2006 Back to Table of Contents Back to Archives Main Page Section: WNY Caregivers Tips for New Caregivers By Lisa M. Petsche
Accept the reality of your loved one’s illness. You can’t stop or reverse it. Give yourself permission to experience all emotions that surface. Grieve losses, but don’t dwell on them. Let go of any bitterness resulting from unrealized plans and dreams so that you can move forward and channel your energy in positive ways. Recognize that there will be good days and bad days, and what you can give may vary from day to day. Don’t be too hard on yourself. 2. Learn Educate yourself about your loved one’s diagnosis, and share the information with family and friends to help them understand. Be open to learning practical skills, such as proper transferring and bathing techniques. Mastering these tasks will make caregiving as safe, easy and as pleasant as possible for all. Find out about community services in your area that can help maximize your loved one’s independence and assist you with necessary tasks. Potential sources of information include your loved one’s doctor and other participating health professionals, books, videotapes, caregiving magazines, the Internet, non-profit organizations associated with the disease (for example, the Parkinson Foundation), your local agency on aging and other caregivers. 3. Communicate Involve your loved one and other family members in relevant decisions as much as possible. Keep the rest of the family informed of changes in your loved one’s status and any decisions that are required. Don’t act as if things are okay when they’re not. Develop a partnership with involved health care professionals. Share information about your loved one’s needs, abilities, personality and preferences. Ask questions, seek advice offer opinions and suggestions. 4. Prepare Find out what to expect during the course of the illness, not only in terms of probable symptom progression but also in terms of caregiving skills, medical equipment and community supports likely to be needed. Talk openly with your loved one about his or her wishes. Discuss living arrangements, outside help, surrogate decision-making, medical intervention, end-of-life care and funeral arrangements. Be careful, though, not to make promises you may not be able to keep (such as promising you’d never consider placement in a care facility). Help your loved one get his or her affairs in order, including completing paperwork such as advance directives, powers of attorney and a will. Consult with an elder care lawyer. 5. Simplify Keep a caregiving log so you don’t have to rely on memory when it comes to medical history. Include medications tried and their results, acute illnesses, hospitalizations, tests, diagnoses, treatments and surgeries. Keep relevant medical, financial, legal and other documents organized in a binder or filing system for quick and easy access. Seek ways to streamline your life. Set priorities and stick to them. And, let go of the need for perfection. Take things one day at a time so you don’t become overwhelmed. Learn to live in the moment and focus on simple pleasures. 6. Practice self-care Look after your own health. Eat nutritious meals, get adequate rest, exercise, and see your family doctor regularly. Find something relaxing you can do to give yourself a break at home, whether it’s quietly enjoying a cup of tea, reading something uplifting, writing in a journal, calling a friend, or listening to music. Make it a daily habit. Schedule regular breaks from caregiving duties. Take a couple of hours, a day or an overnight. By being kind to yourself this way, you’ll also be far more effective for your loved one when you resume caregiving tasks. 7. Connect Stay connected to friends and outside activities. Don’t lose yourself in the caregiving role. Find at least one person (friend, spiritual leader, mental health worker) you can talk to openly, someone who will listen and empathize. It’s important to express thoughts and feelings, both positive and negative. Talk with other caregivers, who understand better than anyone else what you’re going through. Join a community support group (some offer concurrent care), or join an online group if it’s hard to get out or you prefer anonymity. 8. Seek help Acknowledge your limitations. Recognize that you can’t (and shouldn’t) do everything alone. Accept offers of help. Ask family members to share the load and be specific about the kind of help you need. Research and take full advantage of any respite services in your community, such as day care programs or facilities offering temporary residential care. 9. Advocate Ensure that your loved one’s needs and wishes are taken into account by health professionals when they’re developing a plan of care. Join a local or national caregivers’ organization — for example, the National Family Caregivers Association (www.nfcacares.org) offers education, information and support to family caregivers and also advocates for their needs. There’s strength in numbers, so join forces with others like you. And always remember that you don’t have to travel alone on the caregiving journey. Lisa M. Petsche is a medical social worker and a freelance writer specializing in eldercare issues. back to top back to table of contents Current Issue | About Forever Young | Where to Find | Advertise | Our Advertisers | Community Calendar | Contest | Clubs | Contact Us | Archives | Home |
