              |
 |
 March 2007 Back to Table of Contents Back to Archives Main Page Section: Life & Leisure
By Sophie Knab In a recent survey conducted by the National Alliance for Caregivers it was estimated that 22 million people in this country are taking care of loved ones with dementia, stroke, cancer and other conditions. Are you one of them? Watching your parent or another loved one — spouse, child or friend — be ill, lose their ability to care for themselves, to hold a simple conversation with us, to share a meaningful memory or simply to laugh together again is a tremendous emotional loss and very stressful. Or perhaps you are one of those people experiencing changes in your own health, adjusting to retirement or grappling with the ever-growing realization that life, instead of being wide open where everything is a possibility, is now narrowing down and not as wide open any more — indeed, finite. The reality is that there isn’t much one can do about a spouse’s Alzheimer’s or a friend’s cancer or to halt the aging process. Changes of any kind can cause a lot of anxiety, frustration and just be downright scary. It can cause us to feel helpless, powerless and of no longer being in control. We become at risk for depression. How can you take charge? Gain control? Feel less helpless? The answer to that is very subjective — what works for some may not work for others. However, experts in both the medical and psychological world have identified ways to cope effectively to feel more in control. Identify the things in your life that are causing you to feel this way and try to regain control — no matter how small the steps. They recommend: Educate yourself — knowledge is power. It reduces stress, helps overcome fears and generates a sense of empowerment. Studies show over and over again that individuals who learn as much as they can about their situation are mentally healthier because they feel a sense of control. There is and always will be a correlation between our mind and our body so the second rule is this: eat well. Take care of yourself. Prepare nutritious meals that include more fruits and vegetables and less fat. People who do follow this simple guideline show improvements in depression and stress reduction. Ask for and receive help. Don’t suffer in silence or keep things to yourself. Counseling and helping is a common, naturally occurring interaction whether it be family, self help groups or a more structured experience such as group therapy — all these can help you feel less helpless. Family can help but are you asking for their help? Taking care of a parent? Be honest and say, “I need you to come and spend the day (week, month or whatever you need).” Are you feeling lonely and forgotten because the kids are scattered all over the globe? Be straightforward and say “I need to see you.” Self help support groups can also provide education, practical advice and emotional support. There is nothing better in the world than talking to someone who is going through the same thing that you are. The relief that is felt is priceless. Maybe they can help you overcome that reluctance of calling family members to help you. Try your local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association or AARP or log on to the internet for Children of Aging Parents (www.caps4caregivers.org), or the National Family Caregivers Association (www.nfcacares.org). There is an entire world of support networks out there just waiting for you to contact them. They are ready and willing to help. If you prefer an experienced counselor who will foster a comfortable environment visit www.selfhelpgroups.com for a complete list of services. back to top back to table of contents Current Issue | About Forever Young | Where to Find | Advertise | Our Advertisers | Community Calendar | Contest | Clubs | Contact Us | Archives | Home |
