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 January 2006 Back to Table of Contents Back to Archives Main Page Section: Humor Why Did Mommy Marry Daddy? By Theodore Rickard “What’s a bi-logical clock?” She looked at her grandmother with the same dead-level gaze her mother had when her own adult teeth were just coming in. She waited for the answer. So did I, as I concentrated on dipping one of my graham crackers into a glass of milk. She’d waited long enough. “Mommy said her bi-logical clock was ticking. I asked her how come she and Daddy got married. That’s when she said that.” Our granddaughter, Missy aged eight, finally looked away and paid attention to her own cracker just before it plopped soggily into her glass and drifted to the bottom of the milk. It dawned on me that in our age of digital electronic time pieces, the only ticking clock the child might hear was the old grandfather’s clock in the front hall which hadn’t been wound up in years — ever since our last adopted mutt began howling at it every time it chimed. I was obviously hiding beneath irrelevance instead of thinking of an answer, and I could feel Grandmother giving me the look that said “why don’t you deal with this one — for a change,” so I pretended that it was all I could do to handle my own graham crackers and milk. “Well,” Grandmother began a good try at it. “It is just a way for your mommy to say she and your daddy wanted to get married so they could have you.” Grandmother positively lilted the answer, obviously pleased with her idea. “That’s pretty much what Mommy said, too. At dinner last night when I asked her. But were there two of them — two bi-logical clocks?” We looked at one another. There was a touch of impatience as the child explained. “Was there another bi-logical clock for Bobby?” Obviously, there had to be some explanation for her younger brother, the sometimes bane of her existence — when he wasn’t being the love of her life. And just as obviously, her grandparents needed some help in figuring all this out. “Mommy said she had Bobby so Daddy would have somebody to play football with. Then he never would have to grow up.” She paused a moment as she thought about it. “I think she meant Daddy, not Bobby. But Daddy’s already grown up. Isn’t he?” Little girl fingers gave up on retrieving the remains of what had sunk to the bottom of the glass. “Mommy seemed to think that was funny — about having somebody to play football with. And she told Daddy that ‘yes” she would have a little more of the wine they were having with dinner. And I saw Daddy wink at her.” She swirled her milk. I found this was a good idea myself; it helped to dissolve the graham cracker. But Missy wasn’t finished yet with what was, apparently, total recall of the previous evening’s events. “Daddy said he married Mommy because she was so beautiful and nice he wanted a little girl just like her. I thought that was a good thing to say.” “It certainly was,” I chimed in. Inspiration struck. “Why, that’s exactly why I married Grandma,” I said. Opportunities like this don’t come around every day. But there was more. “And then Daddy said marrying Mommy and having me and Bobby was the smartest thing he’d ever done in his whole life and Mommy got kind of red and said that she thought that was about enough wine for both of them. And then she said ‘at least, ‘til we get the kids to bed.’ Then they both laughed. But what was so funny about that?” That brought a long pause. “More milk?” her grandmother asked, obviously changing the subject. I tried to catch her eye. She looked away from me, although she smiled as she did so and I thought she flushed a little. “More?’ she repeated. “You bet,” I said. And I winked at her. “You bet!” I said again when she winked back. back to top back to table of contents Current Issue | About Forever Young | Where to Find | Advertise | Our Advertisers | Community Calendar | Contest | Clubs | Contact Us | Archives | Home |